I never, ever want to forget this day.
The tangible feeling of the Lord literally carrying us through these past few weeks was so comforting to feel today. We have looked forward to and dreaded this day for the past few weeks. It has not been easy.
Today, our sweet baby had to get hearing aids and he’ll most likely have them for life. This is just one week after my last surgery for breast cancer. I only mention that because I’m here to tell you that when you get “bad” news, then you get more “seemingly bad” news (especially about your kid- the part of your heart that literally lives outside of your body) it’s easy to have a hard time dealing with it.
It’s easy to be mad and sad and frustrated because you shouldn’t have to be dealing with all of this, especially all at the same time.
It’s easy to have all of those feelings, but I’ve refused to let the enemy talk me into that place, it’s just not worth it.
Nope, not today. As I have said in so many previous blog posts. It’s become my mantra if you will.
I continue to believe that the Lord’s timing is absolutely perfect even though it just doesn’t seem right to us right now. It doesn’t make sense. Steven and I were absolutely terrified about John getting hearing aids, he’s as stubborn as his dad can be and he will let us know it in the way of loud tantrums. The past few weeks of waiting for this day has been tough knowing we are going to have to adjust to this new way of life for all of us. The tension and the worry has been very much present. I refused to let it get us down, yet I had no way to control or keep this from happening. I’ve only been able to pray, keep being optimistic and pray even harder for the Lord to carry us through. I want to remember today because the Lord did just that.
In the best way possible.
Not only was John interested in the hearing aids at our fitting appointment today, but he let us put them on and was excited to wear them! I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING. Only God, y’all!
Steven has been wearing a pair for a few weeks so John could see them, but hasn’t been interested in wearing them himself until today. We went to the aquarium afterwards to celebrate and another boy came up to John to say hi and John immediately showed him his hearing aids. Subconsciously, Steven and I let out a huge sigh of relief, of built up tension, of fear that has been gripping us oh so tight for the past few weeks since we learned of John’s hearing loss.
This is not how it was supposed to happen, it was supposed to be a hard transition for all of us, right? So you (or me) may think! These moments are when God whispers, “See I’ve got this and you’ve just got to continue to trust and lean into me, let ME carry YOU.”
I’m learning and it hasn’t been easy. I’m learning that God knows the best way, that I can’t control it (as much as I want and try to) and that He truly wants to carry my burdens and take it all on for himself. Because He can and He will. I just have to be willing to let it go and give it to Him.
Today, I had no other choice and God showed up.
Just like He always does,
right on time,
every single time,
at the perfect moment.
Romans 5: 3-5 – ESV
3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Even into our old age He will carry us…
Isaiah 46:4 – ESV
4 even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.
I read this a few weeks ago and I have to add this link to this post. It explains so much better what I am trying to say and what I have experienced by placing ALL of my hope in Jesus. http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/going-deep-with-god-by-having-him-carry-our-loads
Lastly, here are a few pictures from today. This won’t be the end for all of you “hearing” about hearing loss… the hearing loss community just gained a pretty big advocate! I’ll have all of you more knowledgable about hearing loss than you would have ever imagined before I’m finished here. Hope you’re looking forward to it as much as me! 😉
Thanks be to God for a great day!